Council of Secrets : The Superior Show Where the Votes Are Silent and the Irony Is Loud
Herrick Sleeps Through Democracy, Jack Sweeney Drinks Lead Pipe Water, and Lidnsey Graskey Is Still Trying To Paint A Grain Elevator
“Public Votes? We’re Good, Thanks.”
In Superior, Wisconsin, democracy is alive — barely. It limps along in dimly lit city council chambers, where 100 people might catch a YouTube stream (if they’re bored enough), and 3 poor souls sit in person, desperately trying to decode what just happened.
Council meetings end with, “Motion carried,” but here’s the magic trick: no one tells you who voted for what. Want to know how your rep voted? Sorry, this isn’t a government — it’s a civic escape room.
Welcome to the land of transparency theater — where they smile for ribbon cuttings and hide votes like it’s Watergate: Small Town Edition.
Meet the Cast: Now Featuring Even More Mystery Voters
Several of your fearless leaders are up for re-election in 2026 and 2027. They’d really prefer if you didn’t ask how they vote. Why? Because democracy is great until someone wants receipts.
Nicholas Ledin (1st District)
Is a fierce loyalist for Supreme Leader Jim Paine by night. Up for re-election in 2026. Practices local communism with a dry erase marker in one hand and a rubber stamp in the other.
Garner Moffat (3rd District)
Another 2026 candidate. Claimed a “mandate” in a three-way race where more people voted in a chili cook-off. Still votes like he’s got a landslide behind him. Spoiler: he doesn’t.
Brent Fennessy (5th District)
Also up in 2026. Sits there, votes “yes,” nods occasionally. Nobody’s quite sure he knows which district he represents.
Ruth “Rubber Stamp” Ludwig (7th District)
Her votes echo Jim’s more than his own reflection. Been backing the Paines — Jim, Jenny, probably even Max the Dog — for years. Her 2026 re-election pitch writes itself: “I support what Jim supports. Period.”
Sarah Anderson (2nd District)
Appointed after Mayor Jim’s wife conveniently stepped aside. Some say she’s independent. Others say she’s a quieter version of Rubber Stamp Ruth. On paper, she’s the “new blood.” In practice? Same old blood type — AB (Absolutely Boring).
Tylor “the Liar” Elm (6th District)
Up in 2027. Appointed by Paine. Nearly lost to a ghost candidate who didn’t even campaign. Loyal like a labrador with a leash made of city policy. Known in city hall circles as Jim’s “work wife.”
Jack Sweeney (4th District)
Re-election in 2027. Sometimes he shows signs of reason. Then he torpedoes it by voting against free federal money to replace dangerous lead pipes. That’s not just bad policy — it’s “I read the instructions upside down” bad.
Mike Herrick (8th District – West Superior)
Herrick might be the only council member who can simultaneously show up and be MIA. No one’s entirely sure if he’s voting, sleeping, or scrolling Craigslist mid-meeting. Still, his term continues.
Mark Johnson (9th District)
The human shrug. Doesn’t make waves, doesn’t make noise, doesn’t make sense most of the time. Also aware of the Paine family easement issues involved since 2022. But he votes! We think.
Lindsey “Oops I Violated Open Meetings Law” Graskey (Council President)
Failed her way up after breaking transparency laws (like Mayor Jim). Now leads the pack, proving in Superior: accountability is optional, promotions are forever.
Civics Class Canceled — Now Starring the Rubber Stamp Revue & Deadbeats with Spreadsheets
Welcome to Superior City Hall, where critical thinking goes to die and democracy gets auto-approved faster than a Facebook friend request from your weird uncle.
Leading the pack of professional head-nodders is the Rubber Stamp Revue: Nicholas Ledin (1st District), Lindsey “Sunshine Laws Are a Suggestion” Graskey, Tylor “Mayor Paine’s Plus-One” Elm, Ruth “Tell Me Where to Sign” Ludwig—and now, the newest member of the troupe: Garner ‘Deadbeats with Spreadsheets’ Moffat.
Moffat, who claims a “mandate” after winning a three-way race with fewer voters than a church bake sale, shows up with a spreadsheet like it’s a shield against accountability. Don’t let the Excel doc fool you—he’s not crunching numbers, he’s covering tracks. This guy could hold a budget meeting in a blackout and still claim it was “transparent.”
Together, these five make up the city’s elite “Yes Men (and Women)” squad. They’re allergic to sunlight, hostile to open records, and treat public meetings like a ceremonial checkmark before hitting happy hour. Got questions about police misconduct? Legal settlements? Budget weirdness? Cool story, bro—motion to approve!
Graskey, still riding high after a not-so-little open meetings law oopsie, runs the show like a substitute teacher who lost the lesson plan. Elm sits by like the loyal lab partner in Mayor Paine’s high school science project, and Ludwig’s been co-signing Paine’s fantasies so long, we’re not sure if she even remembers which district she represents.
And Ledin? Well, he’s perfected the art of showing up, nodding, and voting “yes” like it’s the last square on a bingo card.
If you ever wondered what happens when a local government gets run like a group text where only the mayor talks—this is it. No debate, no dissent, just dead-eyed approval and backslaps all around.
It’s not a city council. It’s a magic trick—now you see your vote, now you don’t.
Why the Secrecy, City Hall?
Why doesn’t the public know how their councilors vote? Simple:
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- Because they don’t want you to.
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- Because it’s easier to run for re-election when no one can pin down your record.
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- Because Mayor Jim Paine prefers obedient allies, not accountable leaders.
Jim Paine — the TikTok mayor who governs like a guy managing his own TED Talk audition — has built a squad of Yes-Men (and Yes-Women). His chief of staff, Rebecca Scherf, is too busy brand-managing her title to care about democracy. Her real job seems to be making sure the optics look good while the details stay buried (think Charlie Berens debacle.)
What the Founders Said (Louder for Ruth “Rubber Stamp” Ludwig, and Jack “Lead Pipes”Sweeney)
James Madison: “A popular government, without popular information, is but a prologue to a farce or a tragedy — or perhaps both.”
Thomas Jefferson: “We might hope to see the finances of the Union as clear and intelligible as a merchant’s books.”
The Founders envisioned a republic where the people could hold leaders accountable. In Superior, you can’t even find out how they voted — unless you’re clairvoyant or married to someone on the council.
Elections Are Coming. Bring Questions.
In 2026 and 2027, many of these secret-voting champions will be knocking on your door, smiling with lawn signs in hand. You owe it to yourself to ask them:
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- “Can you show me your voting record?”
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- “Why aren’t council votes documented and shared?”
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- “Do you represent the public or just the mayor and his wife?”
If Councilors shows up campaigning hand them a pocket Constitution. Than ask if they just know how to clap on cue.
#SuperiorCivicsByStalin
#ClownCouncilThePeopleAreWrongJimsRight
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