Facebook
X
Reddit
Email
Pinterest
Quick Roast
Superior PD’s leadership didn’t just bend the clock—they folded it into origami. 1,180 after-the-fact punches, could potentially cost roughly $41,300—about $1,000 from 41 average $200K homes. Two-punch rule? Cute. The brass prefers Ctrl-Z.
Top Brass Most Edited
| Rank & Name | Retro-Punches |
|---|---|
| Lt. Thor Trone | 105 |
| Lt. Michelle Pope | 129 |
| Capt. Jeff Harriman | 59 |
| Former Capt. Bill Lear | 212 |
| Former Asst. Chief John Kiel | 101 |
590 incomplete workdays, folks—enough missing hours to grow a moustache, join a committee, and rubber-stamp overtime.
Three Fast Takeaways
- Clock-Gate Math: 1,180 edits ÷ 2 punches = 590 ghost shifts.
- Tax Hit: $35/hr × 590 hours ≈ $41K—41 households’ entire city levy.
- Selective Scrutiny: Flex hours were fine until detective-mom Mikayla LeRette used them—then policy sprouted teeth.
Forefather Reality Check
“A wise and frugal government shall not take from the mouth of labor the bread it has earned.” — Thomas Jefferson
Translation: Stop feeding pay-stub pastries to people already sporting gold badges.
Disclaimer
This post is satire and opinion grounded in federal court filings, sworn depositions, and public-record time-sheet data. Nothing here is a final judicial finding or formal audit. All people named remain innocent until proven otherwise—retro-punches notwithstanding. Teachers still buy crayons with their own cash; rank-and-file city workers still grind; top brass (and mayors) still angle for raises. If you spot a genuine error, send the receipts and we’ll adjust (and roast ourselves) accordingly.
