When Ticket Writing Becomes a Contact Sport in Superior, WI
Who the Fouts Is Officer Fouts?
Let’s talk about University of Wisconsin–Superior’s own revenue-generating MVP: UWS Officer J. Fouts. According to the Omnigo ticket report, this man didn’t just write citations—he practically authored a novel on traffic violations.
In just under four months, Officer Fouts managed to rack up 67 citations totaling a jaw-clenching $10,694.10 in fines.
That’s right. This dude didn’t enforce traffic laws—he carpet-bombed Catlin Avenue with paperwork like it was Fallujah.
Paper Cuts and Power Trips
Most Popular Offenses?
Let’s break it down:
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- Failure to stop at stop sign: Fouts’ bread and butter—served 8 times, hot and full of sarcasm.
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- Operating without a valid driver’s license: Because apparently in Superior, half the residents think “DL” stands for “Don’t Look.”
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- No proof of insurance: Another crowd-pleaser. Who needs Geico when Officer Fouts is patrolling with a vengeance?
Oh—and just to flex—he even threw out a $263.50 ticket for not slowing down around emergency vehicles. That’s a whole week’s groceries… if you’re on the ramen plan.
Catlin Avenue: The Bermuda Triangle of Driving Privileges
If you were driving on Catlin Avenue between June and September 2025, chances are you either got ticketed, knew someone who did, or were lucky enough to swerve into an alternate reality.
That single stretch saw more ink from Fouts’ pen than the Declaration of Independence.
Need proof? Here’s just some of his work:
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- June 25, 2025 – Dane Marcella-Doty: $573.70 in 3 back-to-back citations. Officer Fouts turned this man’s evening commute into a fiscal mugging.
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- August 26, 2025 – Kim Frink: Pulled over, hit for no insurance and not wearing a seatbelt. Total damage? $210.50. Ouch.
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- Jon Graves got clobbered with 5 citations in one day totaling nearly $840.00. Jesus, did he run over a cop family reunion?
Meanwhile in Common Sense Land…
Now listen—we’re not saying you should be out there driving uninsured, unlicensed, and blind to stop signs like it’s GTA: Superior Edition.
But there’s a difference between law enforcement and what Fouts is doing, which looks more like a performance art piece titled: “Revenue Through Retribution.”
It’s not public safety. It’s public shaming… with an invoice.
The Math Don’t Math – And It’s Not Even Trying
Let’s crunch the numbers with the same kind of precision Officer Fouts uses to spot a taillight flickering from three blocks away.
Here’s the scoreboard:
| Officer | Tickets Written | Total Fines Issued |
|---|---|---|
| J. Fouts (104) | 67 | $10,694.10 |
| D. Rankin (105) | 4 | $575.30 |
| K. Douglas (102) | 1 | $200.50 |
| Total (Other Officers) | 5 | $775.80 |
Let’s put that in perspective:
Officer Fouts wrote 93.05% of all citations issued by UW-Superior police between June and September primarily on city streets. The rest of the department? Combined effort of 6.95%, or as it’s called in sports: “riding the bench.”
The man single-handedly accounted for 93.24% of the total fine amounts issued during that stretch. He’s not just leading the league—he is the league.
What’s more impressive (or horrifying, depending on your blood pressure) is that all 72 tickets reported from June 1 to Sept. 25 total $11,469.90.
So what exactly are we doing here? Running a college police department or a Monopoly game where everyone keeps landing on Boardwalk.
Officer Fouts: Traffic Cop or Campus Debt Collector?
When your job starts to look like it was inspired by Judge Dredd, maybe it’s time to reevaluate the mission.
This isn’t law enforcement. It’s campus-level capitalism with a badge, fueled by the thrill of a good citation and an Excel sheet that tracks unpaid dreams.
Somewhere out there, Officer Fouts is probably polishing his citation book, dreaming of the next poor sap who forgets a seatbelt.
Mic Drop
Let’s be clear: traffic enforcement matters. But when one college police officer is responsible for more than 90% of the traffic fines written in one Campus Police Department, and there on city streets. Something starts stinks harder than expired cheese curds in the summer sun.
This isn’t about public safety. It’s supposed to be a University Police Department keeping the UWS campus secure.
We have asked the Superior Police Department for any agreements between themselves and the UWS Campus Police Department. Douglas County has confirmed they do not have any agreements. We have also reached out to UWS Campus Police Departmet for any paperwork that shows agreements betweent themselves and the Superior Police Department.
Sources :
Disclaimer : This article is a work of satire, commentary, and protected opinion under the First Amendment—crafted with sharp wit, hard truths, and zero apologies. Every statement herein is either factually sourced, comedically exaggerated, or dripping with so much sarcasm it should come with a mop. Public figures are fair game, and if your name appears, it’s because your actions (or inaction) earned you a spot. If you’re outraged, congratulations—you’ve been successfully portrayed. No claims are made, implied, or intended to defame, libel, slander, or otherwise misrepresent anyone or anything. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only, and if you still don’t get it—go sue a punchline.
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