BROS GONE WILD: Wisconsin Dells PD Dragged Into Superior’s Hazing Mystery

Welcome to Superior, Wisconsin: where the only thing thinner than the ice on the lake is the school district’s patience for questions.

We’ve got vague statements, concerned administrators, a whole lot of “no comment,” and a cloud of Axe body spray and mystery surrounding the Superior High School boys lacrosse team. That’s right—the Spartans may be trading their sticks for subpoenas.

“Boys Will Be Boys” Meets Legal Liability

In a story that smells like cheap hotel carpet and adolescent regret, FOX 21 got tipped off about an alleged hazing incident involving the high school’s lacrosse squad during an “out-of-town event.” Translation: something happened on the road, and it wasn’t just a bus breakdown or an overcooked buffet.

Did a group of high school jocks cross the line from locker-room bonding into Lord of the Flies cosplay? Possibly. But don’t expect the school or the cops to say much more than “we’re investigating.”

Wisconsin Dells PD: “We’re on it… Kind of.”

The Wisconsin Dells Police Chief confirmed to FOX 21 that they’re now involved. The kicker? They didn’t say it was about the lacrosse team, even though the only people not saying that are the people who clearly know that it is.

It’s the investigative equivalent of someone texting you, “I’m not saying who cheated, but you might want to talk to your boyfriend.”

Superior School District: Platitudes & PR Armor

Enter District Administrator Amy Starzecki, stepping up to the microphone with the energy of someone who just reread the HR manual.

“The district was made aware of an alleged hazing incident… we notified law enforcement… we are committed to a safe environment…”

Blah, blah, blah. It’s the school admin version of “thoughts and prayers.” Meanwhile, every parent in the district is wondering if their kid’s “fun team bonding weekend” included psychological warfare, towel snapping, or something darker.

And let’s not ignore the most Wisconsin part of this—everyone involved is skating around the truth like it’s a frozen Lake Superior in February.

What We Still Don’t Know (Because Apparently It’s Classified)

• What the actual hazing was.

• Who was involved.

• Why they were out of town in the first place.

• Whether anyone was hurt, traumatized, or just deeply humiliated.

• If any school staff were aware—or asleep at the chaperone wheel.

At this point, the only thing more sealed than these investigation files is a teenage boy’s explanation to his parents after the school calls.

Cold Takes and Colder Cover-Ups?

Look, hazing isn’t some new viral challenge—it’s an age-old rite of douche-passage disguised as “team building.” But the truth is, these kinds of rituals thrive in the shadows of silence, vague press releases, and administrators trying to avoid lawsuits during budget season.

Here’s a novel idea: how about transparency?

Because if you’re going to ship high schoolers off to another town for sports, at least make sure the itinerary doesn’t include a midnight gauntlet of humiliation, toxic masculinity, and enough deniability to choke a school board.

Final Stick Drop

Until we get actual answers, we’re left with a hazy, hazing-shaped void filled with vague PR, cross-jurisdictional ping-pong, and the soft thud of accountability being kicked down the field.

And let’s not pretend this ends with just this one story. If this culture exists in one team, you can bet your booster club raffle tickets it ain’t isolated.

Welcome to Superior, folks. Where even the truth gets left behind on the team bus.