Buckle up for another action-packed council meeting featuring questionable spending, greenwashing galore, and a lot of overly enthusiastic nodding.

1. Roll Call and Rituals: From Flags to Fumbles

What happened: Roll was called, the pledge was recited, and the meeting was officially underway. What it really means: Everyone showed up, but don’t mistake attendance for engagement. They pledged allegiance, but only because there isn’t a “skip intro” button for government proceedings.

2. Solar Flex: The Fire Department’s Green Glow-Up

What happened: The Fire Chief delivered a glowing report on solar panels, claiming $14,000 in first-year savings and teasing the arrival of an electric fire truck next year. What it really means: Are the solar panels really saving money Jims not good at math, but let’s not forget the real unsung hero here: Enbridge oil dollars. Without them propping up the budget, the mayor couldn’t afford to slap on a green cape and play Captain Sustainability. The irony? Fossil fuel money funding the fight against fossil fuels. Delicious.

3. Budget Talk: Money, Mayhem, and Road Trips to Ashland

What happened: The mayor announced the upcoming biennial budget process and urged council members to attend a listening session in Ashland. What it really means: Translation: “We’re broke, but at least we’re sustainably broke!” Meanwhile, Superior doesn’t get its own listening session because apparently, even the governor thinks we’re boring. Pro tip: if you’re riding with the mayor to Ashland, pack snacks and a strong tolerance for small talk.

4. Stop Signs and Drama: The Billings Park Traffic Chronicles

What happened: Debates about stop sign placements and traffic calming measures consumed valuable oxygen. What it really means: The council’s groundbreaking strategy to solve traffic issues? Meetings. Endless meetings. In the time it’s taken to decide where to place a stop sign, we could’ve built a roundabout, paved a new road, and named it after the debate itself.

5. Zoning Code Chaos and Fire Hall Fashion

What happened: The Planning Commission continued its zoning code update while approving new fire hall designs that must “fit the neighborhood.” What it really means: Forget “form follows function”—in Superior, “form follows PR optics.” Nothing says progress like fire halls that look like they belong in a Target catalog. Hopefully, they’ll put out fires as well as they blend with the neighborhood.

6. EVs, Ice Rinks, and Miscellaneous Mayhem

• Ice Rinks: Parks crews are getting credit, but let’s be real—this winter’s early freeze came courtesy of Mother Nature, not city hall.
• EV Police Car: Oh, we thought the cops had gone electric after they tased Ian Cuypers like he was trying to charge himself. But no, turns out it’s just their new EV. Perfect for silently creeping up on the next poor soul delivering tacos who accidentally turns the wrong way down a one-way street—because nothing says “protect and serve” like zapping someone who’s just trying to get your chalupa there on time.
• Fire Hall Bundles: The council debated bundling designs for two fire halls—because nothing says efficient spending like hypothetical savings tied to non-existent grants.

FOIA requests are rolling in hot on the solar panels, and the Mayor’s scrambling to play defense. He’s trying to get ahead of the inevitable storm brewing over the $365,000 solar panel tab—and let’s not forget the never-ending upkeep costs tacked onto that little green dream  We analyzed winter months not just peak summer months like Mayor Jim.