💍 Censure, Cards, and Cronyism:

Superior’s City Hall Becomes a Soap Opera Starring Mayor Paine, Van Sickle, and the Fall Guy, Frog Prell

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🎭 Welcome to Superior: Where the City Charter is Just a Suggestion

Let’s set the stage: Superior, Wisconsin, where Lake Superior isn’t the only thing freezing—the respect for longtime public servants has gone colder than Paine’s approval ratings during snowplow season.

Frog Prell, the city attorney who’s been weathering political weather systems longer than Jim Paine’s been updating his relationship status, gets blindsided by a Twitter takedown that reads like a Mean Girls script. Councilor Jenny Van Sickle unleashes a digital barrage, calling him “lazy,” “incompetent,” and a “manipulator.” Why? Because the man had the gall—the absolute gall—to suggest using a deck of cards to break a council deadlock. You’d think he rolled into chambers with a tarot reader and a bottle of gin.

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🃏 Deck of Cards or Coup d’État?

Let’s get real. Prell wasn’t throwing aces for control. He was offering a non-political, randomized solution to break a tie in a city council that couldn’t agree on what day it was. But Van Sickle turned it into a scandal, like he was plotting to declare martial law with a Joker.

Oh, and surprise twist, Van Sickle just happens to be dating (and eventually marrying) Mayor Jim “Captain Free Speech” Paine, who galloped in like a white knight made of contradictions to veto her council censure—because, of course, democracy is under attack when Jenny’s feelings are involved.

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🧼 Mayor Paine’s Democracy Soapbox Smells Like Axe Body Spray

Let’s talk conflict of interest, shall we? Paine vetoed the council’s slap-on-the-wrist censure for his then-girlfriend. Not because she was right, but because she had a right—to go nuclear on Twitter against a civil servant.

He even claimed, “This is a victory for democracy.” Translation: “I’d like to still get laid this weekend.”

The whole thing smells like a high school student council love triangle with public money on the line. And hey, nothing says “leadership” like weaponizing your veto power to defend a tweetstorm.

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🧓 Frog Prell: The Last Adult Standing

Now let’s hear from the grown-up in the room. Prell, who’s spent 17 years quietly keeping Superior’s legal ducks in a row, finally says enough is enough. No press junkets. No cryptic subtweets. Just a call for basic decency and maybe not harassing the guy who’s literally trying to stop the city from becoming a live-action Parks and Rec parody.

All he asked for was a shred of respect and that maybe—just maybe—his kids shouldn’t have to read online that their dad is the legal equivalent of a wet fart.

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📱 Van Sickle’s Twitter Finger Hits Send—And Burn

Van Sickle, emboldened by righteous rage and probably a little Chardonnay, labeled Prell’s legal work “manipulated,” “dishonest,” and “a disservice.” But this wasn’t just council drama—it was a Facebook feminist call-to-arms mixed with some cyberbully seasoning.

And sure, she toned it down after the damage was done, because nothing says “leadership” like starting fires you can’t put out.

Let’s be honest: this wasn’t about accountability. This was about clout. Councilor by day, keyboard warrior by night.

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🤐 Council Leaders Suck Their Thumbs and Hide

Meanwhile, Council President Brent Fennessey and VP Craig Sutherland decided to go full turtle, retreating into their shells while Rome burned and Prell got barbecued on social media. Leadership? Nah. Just waiting out the storm like Midwest dads ignoring a tornado siren.

And look—if you’re gonna censure someone, own it. Don’t just quietly vote yes and disappear faster than Paine’s integrity.

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🧾 Superior’s Taxpayers: Thanks for Paying for the Drama

Here’s the real kicker: you, dear taxpayer, are the one footing the bill for this melodrama. While these clowns play City Hall Thunderdome, potholes remain, budgets bloat, and governance goes on sabbatical.

Superior didn’t sign up for the Jim & Jenny Variety Hour. It signed up for functioning government. Not this teen soap remake of The West Wing.

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💕 “Love in the Time of Censure”

Yes, folks. Van Sickle and Paine will be wed in a few short years, making this whole saga one giant prequel to a Hallmark movie nobody asked for:
“Love Under Fire: The Superior Story.”
Starring her tweets, his veto, and a city attorney left wondering if he should’ve just moved to Duluth.

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🔚 Final Crossing Signal: Do Your Damn Jobs

Look, this ain’t hard:

• Don’t attack city staff because you lost a policy fight.

• Don’t defend your fiancée with a government veto.

• Don’t be silent when leadership is needed.

• And don’t let Twitter become your de facto press office.

Prell deserves more than this circus. He deserves a handshake, not a hit piece.