(Spreadsheet sherpa, golf-course philosopher, and—yes—the guy who once nixed free cash to pull poison pipes out of kids’ drinking water.)

Career Re-Runs

Credentials Nobody Questions (But Maybe Should)

• Accounting & Business Admin background—can sniff out a dime in a $10 million ledger, but missed a whole EPA grant for cleaner pipes.
• Born & brined in Superior’s East End, where folks patch potholes with duct tape and stubbornness.

Committee Bingo

Signature Moves

1. Lead-Pipe Logic – Votes against grant-funded replacements, then blames “long-term costs” no one can find on his own spreadsheet.
2. Budget Haikus – Recites line items like Zen koans: “Office supplies… zero point one two.”
3. Golf Metaphors – “Folks, this sewer bond is in the bunker.”

Philosophy

“Fiscal responsibility first!”

Translation: “Hold the pennies, let the infrastructure corrode—at least the books look pretty.”

Roast-Fed Fun Facts

• Still waiting for IT to install the Any key.
• Believes replacing lead pipes is “luxury plumbing.”
• Calls spreadsheets “choose-your-own-adventure” stories.

Disclaimer: Satire, sarcasm, and a hint of lead. Teachers stretch pennies; city hall stretches buzzwords. Support classrooms—then ask why your faucet tastes like a No vote.