Superior’s City Council: Another Masterclass in Doing Nothing

Oh, Superior, Wisconsin—where drinking water comes with a side of brain damage, and the city council just voted to keep it that way.

In a baffling display of government uselessness, six councilors—Ledin, Van Sickle, Moffat, Sweeney, Ludwig, and Graskey—voted against a resolution that would have simply supported changing state law so Superior Water, Light & Power (SWL&P) could access federal grants to help replace lead pipes.

Let me repeat that: It was free money to fix poison pipes, and they said, “Nah.”

Mayor Jim Paine: Too Busy Preparing for the Traffic Cone Olympics

Now, let’s talk about our fearless leader, Mayor Jim Paine, who somehow had no idea this resolution was even on the table.

Jim, buddy, you’ve been working on this for months and didn’t see it coming? What exactly have you been working on—perfecting your three-step process for winning a municipal traffic cone? Did you think if you practiced hard enough, you’d finally bring home that golden cone for “Best in Standing Around and Doing Nothing”?

How does the Mayor of the City get caught off guard by a resolution about a crisis he’s supposedly been dealing with? That’s like the captain of the Titanic showing up on deck and going, “Wait… why is everything wet?”

Jim finally weighed in with a real gem of a comment:

“The most distracting issue that I think you need to focus on… is whether this bill is actually talking about replacing customer-owned lines? Because here’s the thing. No, it’s not.”

Oh, cool. So instead of trying to fix any of the lead pipes, let’s just sit on our hands and make sure nothing gets fixed. Genius. Absolute governance at its peak.

The No-Voters: Champions of Overthinking and Doing Nothing

Councilor Jenny Van Sickle led the charge against logic, throwing up every excuse in the book.

“We don’t have enough details!”

Jenny, it’s free money to replace toxic pipes, it’s not like Jim trading municipal property for a private family easement problem. We’re not signing a deal with the devil here. It’s literally just sending a message to lawmakers saying, “Hey, we’d like some help.” But sure, let’s wait another decade until every document is notarized in triplicate while people keep drinking liquid lead.

Councilor Jack Sweeney chimed in with a deeply insightful position: “Meh.”

Meanwhile, Councilors Ruth Ludwig and Lindsey Graskey put on a masterclass in how to sound concerned while achieving nothing. Their argument boiled down to:

“Well, we just don’t know what the terms will be!”

Here’s an idea: Find out. That’s literally your job. Imagine if firefighters refused to put out a house fire because they weren’t 100% sure who owned the hose.

The Yes-Voters: Trying to Save the City From Itself

Councilors Brent Fennessey, Mark Johnson, Tylor Elm, and Mike Herrick were the only ones who grasped basic reality and voted to at least try to solve the problem.

Elm summed it up with:

“I think the citizens, at the end of the day, just want to get their lead lines replaced.”

Wow. Stunning revelation. Almost like the entire point of government is to serve the people, not spend three-hour meetings arguing over hypothetical fine print while residents sip on brain-melting beverages.

So What’s the Plan Now?

Instead of federal help, Superior’s new and improved strategy is:

• • Replacing a whopping 20 pipes during road work. (Oh yeah, that’ll fix it. Only 680+ left to go!)

• • Cobbling together scraps from neighborhood funds, affordable housing programs, and prayers to the infrastructure gods.

Translation: “We have no real plan, but we’ll get back to you in 2045.”

Final Thoughts: Failure on Purpose

The worst part? This wasn’t a tough decision. There was zero risk in passing the resolution. At best, it gets Superior millions in federal aid. At worst, it changes nothing.

And yet, six councilors and one clueless mayor chose to do nothing.

So, if you live in Superior and are wondering why your drinking water still comes with a warning label, don’t blame bad luck.

Blame Van Sickle “Paine”, Graskey, Sweeney, Ludwig, Moffat, and Ledin the people who just voted to keep it that way.